A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

Well, it’s midsummer, and I’m the Green Man. So, I’m using my wikkid skillz to make the world neater. The world’s a mess and I’m gonna tidy it up, make it neater like. I’ve got my catapult and I’m gonna shoot all the bad people I see walking past my window. All the bad people are trying to steal my nutritious mineral water, they know how precious it is and they want it all for themselves but they didn’t work for it so I’ll have to teach them a lesson, yeah? I’ve got a pair of tights on my head so no-one can see me. Except for all the eyes floating around outside – as soon as I’ve cattied all the bad, untidy people I’ll have to do something about the eyes. Allow eyes man. I’ll smash their windows and shoot mince into their houses with my catty. What’s that you say? – no, I’m not paranoid, I’m just gritting my teeth as hard as I can because I don’t want to drop my pipe. It’s made of diamond and has a hedgehog in it.

Get me my Geef Randomiser so I can make the world tidy! And my Murph Muddler. With my Geef Randomiser and my Murph Muddler I’ll be UNSTOPPABLE! BOO-YAH!