Day, baDay, baWaddlaDaDay, inBadday, inBadday, inBaWaddlaDaDay, Gwan

Hello again, it's me, Old Father Rave, here to eddycate your ass.

SPOONER

That’s right, I’ve got Tourettes! Tourettes is a terrible condition that makes me say and do things COMPLETELY AGAINST MY WILL.

FLANGE SPOON

Tourettes is a disorder of the bonce that I contracted from watching television without goggles. Now that my life is CURSED with this BLIGHT I’ve found myself doing all sorts of deeds that would otherwise be considered shameful. Why, just yesterday I was caught shoplifting pickled eggs from Squirrel-Mart ™, so I had to explain to the squirrel shop-keepers that I have a terrible condition that makes me do ANYTHING I WANT – it’s not my fault, I explained, my condition makes it impossible for me not to do just exactly what I want at any moment. Then I told them what absolute w*nker’s they were, which again was caused by my accursed Tourettes, and departed with my mechanical bed filled to the brim with luxurious pickled eggs.

Naturally the squirrels gave chase, no doubt wanting to learn more about my condition, but my Tourettes caused me – against my will – to shoot mince at them with my catapult, and then to steal Hornswaggler’s car and drive off at high speed, with tyres squealing, leaving a cloud of dust slowly settling atop the squirrels’ fuzzy heads. Then I joy-rode the car to a giant mega-rave and danced frenziedly until dawn, when I welcomed the new day in by torching the car (see below) and dancing around its blazing remains whooping with delight, supping heartily at a can of nutritious mineral water before going for a well earned nap under a hedge.





FECK, FECKING FECK

I hope that my humble blog can spread awareness about this cruel syndrome, which also caused me to impersonate a policeman, to attempt to bribe a policeman, to assault a policeman, to impersonate a judge, to impersonate a lolly-pop man, to urinate in public, AND OTHER ACTS THAT WOULD NORMALLY BE CONSIDERED CRIMES WITHOUT THE TOTAL JUSTIFICATION OF TOURETTES. So, SEND ME MONEY so that I can continue these important charitable works.

We can all do our part to spread awareness – TOGETHER, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.

FAT FUDGE FECK FLAPS